reflections two months on

Just over two months ago I left Smithers.  It feels like a long time ago, yet I can’t believe I have been in Indonesia for a month and a half.    

Life is about to change greatly in the coming days.

Tomorrow is my last day at language school. 

Friday I leave for my community of Kudus to spend the next 9.5 months. 

Saturday I begin my role as Pastoral Intern.   

And the rest….haha…..I have no idea.

Since the future is unknown, why not talk about the past.  Here I go…

1.

Before hoping on a plane to Indonesia, I barely thought about the first 2 months of my time away. I only thought about my time in Kudus, joining the church there, and becoming apart of my host family.  However, these first 2 months have been extraordinary from Orientation in Akron, being in my Kudus home for a week and language training.  There has been plenty of preparation, anticipation, some nervousness and a plethora of excitement. 

I never quite realized my degree of excitement and interest in living life before coming here. 

My fellow SALTers ask me sometimes when I want to tell or show them something. 

“Is this Jason interesting or everybody interesting?” 

2.

The end of these two months also means that all of the SALT/YAMEN participates each goes their own way.  For group of 8 people from all over the earth to come together and share a lot of life together for 6 week and bond like we did, is amazing.  One relationship that I am particularly thankful for is my friend Nicole from Paraguay.  She is also entering a pastoral intern role in an Indonesian church and we have been able to share with each our worries and excitement about our positions.  It has been a real blessing.

3.

So how fluent is my Indonesian?  Besides having constant trouble with the word “tahu” which is pronounced differently depending if you want to say “know” or “tofu.”  Honestly, Indonesian is a very easy language and I have learned it far easy than I ever imagined learning it.   My tumultuous experience with French is the opposite from my experience with learning Indonesian.  I am at the stage where I am learning the words for “boil”, “worship” and “realize.” Of course I know important words like “cool”, “fart” and “cookies.”  

4.

It has been a joy to be apart of a second family here in Indonesia.  Being in two homes has allowed me to expand my views of Indonesian family life.  Gentle and patient—my host parents have had to put up with me for 6 weeks. 

My dad going on a desperately shopping for boxers due to my horrible laundry planning ability.

My mom cutting up mangoes as fast I can could eat them. 

My sister pulling on my thick beard and being proud of her older brother. 

Okay, it wasn’t thick.  And she laughed all night about it.

5. If you care to see how I think about my university studies in politics and economics relate to my work here.  Read this.  It is my preliminary thoughts over that connection that I submitted for the King’s University College Website.

“I have been in the PHE program for 3 years and have been enriched by the students and staff of that program greatly.  The program has continued to foster in me a strong passion to see the political and economic systems of the world transformed so that they seek to glorify God.  A strong interest of mine is to understand how the churches can actively work towards public justice.  It is imperative that Christians realize the ideologies (idols) in the political and economic systems of the world and work towards seeking the justice and peace that God has called His church to pursue.   So with that desire and three years of the PHE program completed, I am currently participating in a year long internship with the a faith-based NGO called the Mennonite Central Committee in Indonesia.

I will be doing pastoral work in an Indonesian church.  

So my most common question is: "So, you have studied theology or gone to seminary?"  

My answer, is "No, I am actually studying politics and economics."  

Generally, a confused face is the response of whomever I am talking to.

I have yet to entered my position here in Indonesia.  My initial thoughts are that politics and economics are the context to which the church exists, therefore the public life that the church is in is crucial to understanding it's mission.  I hope to listen and learn from Indonesians on how they live out their faith in the Indonesian political context.  Even more interesting to me, is how the church is to respond to rapid globalization in Indonesia.  I am especially keen to learn about the church's reaction to this political/economic phenomena.  Maybe even share my perspective from the North American experience.  Issues such as environmental degradation, cultural/religious pluralism, growing income disparity are some of the other issues I look forward to learning about in the context of the church engaging in public life.  

In the first 2 weeks here I heard 3 out of 4 sermons explicitly discuss a specific political event during the sermon, something that I am not used to in Canada.  That really sparked my curiosity, as the church that I will work with is not shy from engaging in public life.  I hope to come back to finish the PHE program invigorated from my year in Indonesia and ready to share with others about the Indonesian experience.”   

6. 

Hmmm…I wondered how to write some of my personal emotions and personal transformation so far.  But I found this excerpt from theologian Henri Nouwen, thanks to another SALTer.  It is worth reading. 

From Henri Nouwen’s Gracias!: A Latin American Journal.

After talking about negative reactions to new culture Nouwen writes……

“ But we can also use the new opportunity for our own healing. When we walk around in a strange milieu, speaking the language haltingly, and feeling out of control and like fools, we can come in touch with a part of ourselves that usually remains hidden behind the thick walls of our defenses. We can come to experience our basic vulnerability, our need for others, our deep-seated feelings of ignorance and inadequacy, and our fundamental dependency. Instead of running away from these scary feelings, we can live through them together and learn that our true value as human beings has its seat far beyond our competence and accomplishments.

One of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are. When we become aware that our stuttering, failing, vulnerable selves are loved even when we hardly progress, we can let go of our compulsion to prove ourselves and be free to live with others in a fellowship of the weak. That is true healing.

This psychological perspective on culture shock can open up for us a new understanding of God`s grace and our vocation to live graceful lives. In the presence of God, we are totally naked, broken, sinful, and dependent, and we realize that we can do nothing, absolutely nothing, without him. When we are willing to confess our true condition, God will embrace us with his love, a love so deep, intimate, and strong that it enables us to make all things new. I am convinced that, for Christians, culture shock can be an opportunity not only for psychological healing but also for conversion.

What moves me most in reflecting on these opportunities is that they lead us to the heart of ministry and mission. The more I think about the meaning of living and acting in the name of Christ, the more I realize that what I have to offer to others is not my intelligence, skill, power, influence, or connections, but my own human brokenness, but my own human brokenness through which the love of God can manifest itself. The celebrant in Leonard Bernstein`s Mass says: “Glass shines brighter when its broken…I never noticed that.” This, to me, is what ministry and mission are all about. Ministry is entering with our human brokenness into communion with others and speaking a word of hope. This hope is not based on any power to solve the problems of those with whom we live, but on the love of God, which becomes visible when we let go of our fears of being out of control and enter into his presence in a shared confession of weakness.

This is a hard vocation. It goes against the grain of our need for self-affirmation, self-fulfillment, and self-realization. It is a call to true humility. I, therefore, think that for those who are pulled away from their familiar surroundings and brought into a strange land where they feel again like babies, the Lord offers a unique chance not only for a personal conversion but also for an authentic ministry.”