"Jason's Rice Paddy services, how can I help you?"

Here is mental image for you: 

Last week, this tall lanky kid ran around a rice paddy.  He thought that he deep deep down had an inner “farm boy.”  But he was terrible at digging in the mud and any step he made into the mud the situation looked….ummm….precarious.  At one point he was tilling the earth with a hoe while wearing a traditional rice-farming hat.  It lasted only minutes before the kid found it rather fun to get his arms muddy up to his armpits.  While playing in the mud, a crab was found. 

 The kid was elated.  He played with it, trying to get it to pick things up with his “snappers”.  Then suddenly, more were found.  The kid became an act of comedy to the farmers.  The farmers became to throw crabs towards the kid.  Sometimes, the crabs would not land close to the bucket, so the kid had to go out into the rice paddy uncover the crab and then attempt to jostle the crab until its “pincers” were closed.  This usually was a fail.  Instead, the kid juggled the crab back to the bucket were its friends awaited.  This method was largely effective, although some bite marks from a wieldy crab still exist.  Eventually 5 crabs were together—he thought—a perfect family.  In fact, the kid cared for these crabs like his children.    

                   To the complete shock of the kid, one crab decided to violently amputate another crab.  The terrified kid watched three limbs dismember. The dismembered crab died within a period of 20 minutes while the kid baby-sat the others, keeping discipline. In the end, 20 crabs were tossed from farmers to the kid.  Many crabs tried to escape their new parenthood. The crabs became unruly together, using a teamwork strategy to pile on top of each other to make an escape.  These beloved crabs, were too much of a commitment for the kid.

Breakfast the next morning was crab. 

The talk of the village was the kid. 

A this was a day in a life.

If you want to get aquatinted, read the above story.

Hacking....wait that's not the right word.  Okay, "Hoeing" the the church's plot of land.  This lasted a few minutes and then.......

My hoe was confiscated by the farmers.So I used my hands......which lasted until I......

Realized I have very little agricultural skills.  Nothing spells "foreigner" like the contrast between the muddy farmer behind me and the specks of mud on my face.

I trusty farmer risked a lot and allowed me to drive his rice paddy tilling tractor.  A crowd watched, and nearby farmers guarded their paddies as I had the time of my life driving around a rice paddy chasing snakes.  I got raves reviews for my work.  So if some other career plans fall through, I have a new option to fall back on.