If you have not yet, scroll down and go through my previous post with the many photos. I have some funny stories, but this post deserves it’s own space.
Life this past week has been suspended between much more contemplation about religions, the role of a pastor and what’s church etc. Sometimes I have been stuck in feelings of inadequacy, but that comes alongside an increasing love for this country. More talks with others about passions and fears. I have had the most up-and-down week so far. I will focus in on an illustration of that—where a mixture of hope, fear, confusion and providence come together to create a strong mix of emotion.
What I will write is by no means something I have figured out. Much is what I have received from others and what I write is what I aspire towards. Please read the entire post, for it will only make sense if you read it all.
Well, I will cut right to the intensity of this past weekend.
I visited the city of Solo this weekend and after church was finished I was informed that there was a suicide bombing in another church in the city. A man, linked to extremist Islamic groups, walked into the church, sat among the people, and initially failed to detonate his explosion. As people were leaving the church, the explosion occurred. Shocking. Horrible. Confusing.
It made the front page of Indonesian news, and was a top story on the BBC. However, eschewed the news releases are, it is known that 2 people were killed, over 20 injured.
Much can be left to ones imagination as to why and how this happened. Although, we do not know, the church that was chosen for the attack was seemingly random. For a suicide bombing to occur at a church in Indonesia, this is a first. The motives of those, whom supported the man whom carried out the attack, and the man himself, are a mystery to me in many ways.
Of course we can point to easy answers to that question, but deep down, what leads people to do ultimately commit to do something where they are willing to die? What leads one to see the world through which an extremist Muslim views the world? I think these are questions that are tougher than we make them out to be.
What about the Christian and Muslim neighbors whom share this world with those whom express the worldview of the suicide bomber? How have our actions led to their view of the world? How can our actions led their ultimate commitment in life to change? How have we failed? How have we succeeded? What must we Christians continue to do in this face of this and what must we consider changing?
This is me expressing not one sole emotion and way of thinking. A mix of confusion, being afraid, anger and self-critique fill me. It is things like this incident that can seriously change the way I, along with the rest of us, think about the world.
We can choose to fear death, fear our neighbors, fear the other.
We can run to what we think is safety, and sacrifice what living providentially in God’s world means.
We can be willing to sacrifice the other, in our feeble attempts to stay safe.
We can live bound together by collective fear.
When such a stunning act occurs, we can decide collectively to live as Satan wants us to live—in perpetual fear. In constant doubt, worry and exclusiveness of the other—in this environment, to live as Christ lived becomes suppressed and suffocated.
However, this all changes when I don’t accept a suicide bombing or anything that goes against the grain of God’s kingdom as the end. For my life is lived within the ultimate commitment that it is Christ whom puts the history of the world in a different trajectory. In the words of author and theologian Scott Bader-Saye, living in God’s providence means having the after any evil and sin we have the “ability to say AND….” For the Christian, “if the story hasn’t ended well then the story hasn’t ended yet.”
I love that.
I have come to realize over the past 3 days that there is something extraordinary happening here in Indonesia. No, not the suicide bombing or extremism. What is happening is the Indonesian church is choosing to tell a different story. As story told through their lives and the people I have meet—even if it was every so briefly.
This has done me well, for if those around me were fearful, I would be as well. But that is not the case. It astounds me. For when one shapes their lives by peace in the little things, when something “big” happens one has no other way to respond, but in peace.
Here are some example:
1. Do you ever get times in your life where your heart skips a beat? I got it when I heard about the work of the Mennonite Diaconal Service (MDS). Among many things, MDS has pursued inter faith dialogue and humanitarian work among the Muslim community of Indonesia in remarkable ways! We were only presented with information, but I can’t help but visit their work later this year. What blew me away was the engagement of Mennonite churches with moderate and radical Islamic groups. They work together on shared goals and shared loves and the picture of the leading radical Islamic army officer alongside a Mennonite pastor in dialogue is a photo I will never forget. For the vast majority of Muslims in Indonesia, the bombing is mourned.
2. I talked on the tile floor with my host father last night about this all. He pastors a church and expressed no fear or worry over the event. He urged the need for interfaith dialogue and need for all churches in Indonesia to be inclusive. Which, in his opinion, is lacking among some of the fastest growing denominations here in Indonesia. Exclusive churches are deeply detrimental to living alongside the Muslim community here. There is a serious choice at stake here for the church—and for the global church. Gladly, the Mennonite church of Indonesia, which I am apart of, seeks inclusiveness and a holistic view of evangelism and salvation, which allows for peace to be formed.
3. The Mennonite church which I will deeply participate with this year celebrated “Youth for Peace Day” on the same day this bombing occurred. The host sister of my home in Kudus, whom is a leader in the youth peace movement, wrote this prayer:
“Let the peace be with everyone in that church, the victims and the family of that person. Forgive him if he (the bomber) did not know what he was doing, and more over, please forgive us, if we sometimes fail to bring a peace around us or we have not brought a peace to others wherever we are at. Let your forgiveness and peace be with all of us so we can be YOUR peacemaker where ever we are. God have Mercy!”
It is people that genuinely respond like this, which I am surrounded by here. I am so blessed by their presence.
These are some of my thoughts at this moment in time. Where this journey here in Indonesia will take me I do not know. For, God does not promise protection from evil, but promises provision and His presence. As C.S. Lewis wrote. “God is not safe, but he is good.” I hope you may strive to life out of that promise, as I will strive and struggle with it.
Shalom.
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